I used to think that I could not go on
Life was nothing but and awful song
But then I woke up one day and everything changed
I was alone in my room and
In the back of my mind my conscience call
Telling me I need a girl who's as sweet as a dove
For the first time in my life I see I need love
All though I often reminisce I can't believe that I found a desire for true love floating around
Inside my soul because my soul is cold
One half of me deserve to be alone till I'm old
But the other half needs affection and joy and the warmth that is created by a girl and a boy
I need love
I need to find a girl to make my life complete
I'll
Every time a star falls from the sky
I wish that she'd feel the way I feel inside
I'll wake up one day and every thing will change
I'll cross a line and there's no turning back
I'm caught between the love and the danger
It's hard to leave a heart so open up to that
I wish
I think I know just how to read her
And then she throw's me right off track
All I know is how much I need her
Late at night I sit and I wonder what she's thinking of
It's killing me and all that's true is I'm falling deeper in love
I wish
I hope and I pray keep it all locked away
As I see myself lost in her kiss
Time will tell me where her heart is really a
I don't know anything
I don't even know myself
I ask questions that can never be answered
I try and hide myself but you see right through me
Am I made of glass
Though you'll never see who I really am because I don't even know
I can't remember the last time I cared
I don't care what you think
I have to find some place to hide
But there's nothing in sight
They're coming for me
Time to pay for my sins
I run but there's nowhere to go
My friends turn there backs on me
Left alone and helpless I stand and fight
I fight so many for so long I collapse with the last of them
In the surrounding darkness I find that I'm only fighting m
I swore i would never come back to you
The shroud that I used to wear
To keep my self hidden in the dark
You had a mind of your own so you took control leaving me in a shell of a body
You kept me in the dark and shielded me from the pain for a cost
You numbed my heart to keep from my feelings
I started to wither and die
So I ripped you off leaving a part of me inside you
Now I'm confused and need to be numbed
i reach for you knowing that I'll regret this in the end
Fear over wheling me and taking control
I slip you on and fell the cold take me in
I go numb from the inside out
I welcome back my old self hidden withen the folds a
What should I do to be with you
What can I say for you to see
That its you that I see
Should I be myself of play a roll
If you say no should I go or Should I stay
Should I give up or try again
If at first I don't succeed
I'll dust myself off and try again
I know now that i must
Make you see that I want more then a fling
I'll be here always not just a week
I won't give up anymore
I can't let you just go like I don't care
I'll just dust myself off and try again
You are the one who make's me belieave that I just got to
Try again
When I close my eyes I see you
I can't sleep; I can't eat
I can only think of you
It's all I ever do
Every night I pray that you'll be mine
I want to be the one you hold onto
I want to be the one to wipe away your tears
I don't know what to do but sit here and wait
I'll only wait for you
I spend my days thinking of you
I spend my nights dreaming of you
My mind races and my heart flutters when your near
Your smile makes me melt and your voice makes me float
You don't know it but I get nervouse when your near
Yet i tend to act ok to keep you unaware
I want to let you know how I feel
But can only whisper in the dark
Hopeing you'll hear me
Do you hear me
I spend my days thinking of you and my nights dreaming
Of you
My heart has always been shrouded in ice
Like a shield protecting my self
I let my self become cold and barren
Never letting any one get to close
Afraid of getting hurt
You showed up and broke through all my defence's
Your smile and your voice melt me away
You've melted all that was once frozen
Your always on my mind now
But still I try to shoud my self in ice
The fear of being hurt keep's my guard up
But you pass through all my defence's
The ice that once protected me flow's away in a stream of water with your reflection in it;
Smiling
Alone in this darkness with my thoughts
I'm bumbarted with thoughts of despresion
Why am I this way;
Not like the others
No answers come to my questions
I try to make excuses but they all fail
As I have failed
I must find the streangth to go on
I must find the courage
I search and I look
But all I find is fear
The fear that I will fail again as I have done so many times before
But I remember that being brave is not having courage when there is no fear but having courage when there is some thing to fear
So I decide to push through
I try my best but fall short
but I drag my self on till I can't move any more
Now I need to find
There is one person who catches my eye
It's you
Your beauty puts every thing to shame
The room seems to light up when yo walk in
It's you
Your the one who keeps me going
Your smile makes me weak in the knee's
I'd give any thing for you
You stand out in a crowd
Radiant and proud
It's you
Only you
I am my own worst enemy. by Green-Gold, literature
Literature
I am my own worst enemy.
Lost in the nothingness inside of me,
Lost in thoughts that waste me away,
I find something that i had thought lost forever;
I found hope.
With this hope I start to walk.
Walk towards the beacon of light my friends give off.
Beaten and batterd by my own hurtful thoughts I walk on still.
I put my self down time and time again yet I won't give up.
Making my way though this cold heart that shows no mercy;
I find that I am my own worst enemy.
What have I done to be this way
Left alone along the way.
I tried to keep up but got left behind
Now I'm all alone and crying.
I try to find my way in the dark
But I'm stopped by my own doubts.
I try and fight my out but its no use;
My worst fears have come true.
I'm weak and useless; that's why I'm here.
That's why I was left in the dark;
I scream but no ones listening.
I give in to the darkness and now I see
I took what I hated and made it apart of me.
Giving up apart of me I let my self become this;
I walk towards the voices in my head
Listening to them tell me what I am.
I distance my self from the people I once knew
Tr
I've tried to deny it but I can't
I've tried to lie about how I feel but can't
Since the first day I saw you my feelings have only grown
Your smile brightens up the darkest of my days
Your voice lifts my spirits high
But in your eyes I'm invisible
I say hello and you walk on by
I do my best to not cry
Just thinking of you
Only you
I walk away pretending every thing is ok
With thoughts of you drifting through.
It's you that I'm addicted to
The way you move
The smile that never leaves your stunning face
The sound of your voice puts me under a spell
I try to talk to you but you don't hear me
I can't pretend that it doesn't hurt when you ignore me
I tried to forget you
But I'm addicted to you
Now I'm back to let you know
That it's you I see in my dreams
I'm just addicted to you
I've been waiting for you all day
Come over and talk to me
You know I have feelings for you
Yet you just play with my heart
I want to know how you feel about me
What do I have to do to bring you into my life
For you I'd do anything just to hold you in my arm's
I'd steal the seven sea's
I'd do anything you want just to make you laugh
Forgive me if I admit that I'd love to love you
Well it's all so over rated in not saying how you feel
So I'm saying it now
I'm waiting till I see it in your eye's
I'll wait till the end of time for you
But please don't make me wait to long
So here I am waiting
For you
Wandering in the alley ways of my mind
I recall all of my life I wish I could forget
All the lies, pain, and anger that is kept inside of me
I walk on trying my best not to look
As I walk my endless wandering has brought me to the one place I fear
My hatred and anger like a beast rages in its cage
Fear wells up inside of me
Never knowing what will happen if the beast breaks free again
I make my way along to find what lies ahead
I find my self in a cold empty place
Were once there was a happy person is now a shell
It sees nothing and feels only pain
Seeing its face I see mine
I try to run away but find I can't move my legs
I fal
There is one person who catches my eye
It's you
Your beauty puts every thing to shame
The room seems to light up when yo walk in
It's you
Your the one who keeps me going
Your smile makes me weak in the knee's
I'd give any thing for you
You stand out in a crowd
Radiant and proud
It's you
Only you
Alone in this darkness with my thoughts
I'm bumbarted with thoughts of despresion
Why am I this way;
Not like the others
No answers come to my questions
I try to make excuses but they all fail
As I have failed
I must find the streangth to go on
I must find the courage
I search and I look
But all I find is fear
The fear that I will fail again as I have done so many times before
But I remember that being brave is not having courage when there is no fear but having courage when there is some thing to fear
So I decide to push through
I try my best but fall short
but I drag my self on till I can't move any more
Now I need to find
My heart has always been shrouded in ice
Like a shield protecting my self
I let my self become cold and barren
Never letting any one get to close
Afraid of getting hurt
You showed up and broke through all my defence's
Your smile and your voice melt me away
You've melted all that was once frozen
Your always on my mind now
But still I try to shoud my self in ice
The fear of being hurt keep's my guard up
But you pass through all my defence's
The ice that once protected me flow's away in a stream of water with your reflection in it;
Smiling
Take me by the hand
Tell me everything is alright
Your skin is so soft and smooth
I lose myself in your touch
It has been so long
I've forgotten the touch
Forgotten the way it feels
The way it feels to be loved
It feels strange to me, almost unreal
So long...I've forgotten how to feel
I hid myself at first
Not revealing my true self to you
Afraid of the pain I might go through
I trusted before, I loved before
It got me no where
Brought me nothing but pain
Always ended in sorrow
Asking me to trust you now
Asking me to love again
But I'm afraid I don't know how
So long I watched from the shadows
So far I let myself fall
S
i suffer the casualties by instant-karma, literature
Literature
i suffer the casualties
wake up every morning
casual dress
meets casual stress
while i find myself in a casual mess
for a laid back life,
i suffer the casualties.
and then there's you
you're always the one to
care about anything you'll ever do
anyone you've ever knew
everything life puts you through,
any goal you'll choose to persue
it'll come to you
because you take care.
but that being said
is it really fair
that you spend your life
avoiding the strife, that will surely come
should you let down your gaurd
the world you worked so hard
to achieve
will collapse, and you'll grieve
about how all you once had is now gone,
but just open your eyes
Sometimes it's Hard to... by atomic-kitty, literature
Literature
Sometimes it's Hard to...
Sometimes it just hurts to cry
It's so hard to try
When you're just waiting to die
There's only one last sigh
Sometimes it just hurts to breathe
It's so hard to see
When you're looking at me
There's only one last scream
Sometimes it just hurts to bruise
It's so hard to accuse
When you're feeling so used
There's only one last muse
Every day passes by
like the smooth flow
of water over rocks
embedded in the river,
like the sweet sensation
of cotton fibers
caressing a baby's cheek
as I look into your eyes
and feel the sun's
reflection on
its glassy surface,
your hands entwined with mine.
First tears,
Slowly,
Falling faster,
Gut wrenching sobs
Shaking my body.
Growing cold from the inside out,
Teeth chattering,
Fingers and toes numb.
Head Spinning,
Unable to breath.
Your words stab my unprotected heart.
You twist and turn the knife,
Making me scream out in pain.
As if you don't hear me,
You continue your deadly task.
Being the one person who knows me best,
You know exactly what to say,
Exactly what to do to make me cringe with pain.
I beg,
I plead for you to stop,
But you have set in your mind what you think you need to do.
There is no reasoning with you this time,
Your heart has turned cold and you wis
Every time a star falls from the sky
I wish that she'd feel the way I feel inside
I'll wake up one day and every thing will change
I'll cross a line and there's no turning back
I'm caught between the love and the danger
It's hard to leave a heart so open up to that
I wish
I think I know just how to read her
And then she throw's me right off track
All I know is how much I need her
Late at night I sit and I wonder what she's thinking of
It's killing me and all that's true is I'm falling deeper in love
I wish
I hope and I pray keep it all locked away
As I see myself lost in her kiss
Time will tell me where her heart is really a
wow im actually writing a journal. lets see i had a shity day at work my boss tells me that i have to work a 300 guest party on saterday, then on the way home my my goes flat on kipling and jewel. i was pissed cause i had nobody who was able to help me; my mom was at work and my cousin had to train some new people at his work so he couldn't help me. while im thinking of people to call and see if they can help me some guy stops and offers to give me a hand. so we get my tire off and try to patch it but it wasnt a hole some thing in the road made a slash in my tire. so i told hin thanks for the help and id take it from there but he said it was
im writing a story so i should put it up soon. not much going on lately just chilling out with my friends playing magick. my first chapter of my story will be up by monday i hope. well thats all ill write more later.
lets see i got fired from hobby lobby but there a bunch of tight ass bastards so i dont care. i have been talking alot to Ashley lately; thats been alot of fun. wish she could go to home comeing with me but she cant. so im just gonna just drive aroung for an hour and then go to the dance and have some fun and maybe go see shaun of the dead after wards. well ill write more later and im working on some poems so ill put them up soon.
Clubs~
~JpopChamp (https://www.deviantart.com/jpopchamp) :iconashiteruclub: :iconkai-shrine: :iconninja-club: